Adopting is like going down a very long road to places that you have never been before. The road is made up of curves, hills, and pot holes. It can be a very lonely road, sometimes full of despair. Yet again it can be full of joyous discoveries. Why do we put ourselves through this? We swear in the middle of it we'll never do it again, but we keep coming back for more. It is all about giving to children and the deep commitment that consumes you.
Traveling on this road there is a lot of self discovery. I for one find it incredibly hard to ask for for help for me. For anyone else, I can knock doors down, but for me... That is why I have waited to the last minute to let it be known our need. I'm embarrassed, and I'm a bit afraid if I ask for help and no one responds then I feel horribly rejected. I know it's not about me, but in a way I feel like it is.
So in all this rambling I guess what I'm saying is that I have learned something, to accept what has been given with my heart, instead of shutting down and not feeling. Which is a good thing. But I still am hurt when more people have not stepped forward to reach out and help. I must of gotten stuck in one of those pot holes...
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