I totally forgot that tonight was the first rehearsal of my chorale that I sing in all year, so I'm starting this post later than I wanted to.

So I have been putting a lot of thought into how to heal my older two girls.  My oldest came to us angry.  Some of it has gone away, but the core is still there. She is so angry and hurt that she never had a childhood.  She doesn't want to grow up, she doesn't want to "act her age," or have responsibilities or be nice to her younger sisters who get to play all the time. She has a void that needs filling.  She can't go back to being six and start over again.  But she needs to experience what she has 'lost'.  I think I came up with a possible solution.  I don't know...  This is my idea.  That one day every week she gets to be a 'kid'.  She can choose whatever activity she wants, perhaps me reading her a story, playing dolls, playing Candyland, or just going for a walk.  I will have to ask her.  This is only my first attempt at finding a solution.  It's a start at least.

And for my other daughter, I think having more one on one time with her, getting more friends to be with, and talking about her past with names and dates and bringing it all out instead of having it buried might help.  All I can do is try.

My other three are works in progress and I am trying to develop agendas for them. In between all this I'm still working with the Office of Civil Rights who have already notified the school, I'm still trying to meet with the teachers at the deaf school to get them 'aware' that my daughter is not just deaf, but she is a foreigner and grew up in an orphanage all her life which means she learns and comprehends things differently, and so much more.  But it's late and I won't bore you with details...