"My cheeks hurt I smile too much."

Is what she signed to me today.  We had installed a video phone connected to our TV.  So if someone calls her that also has the video phone installed, the screen is spilt, with my daughter on one side signing and the person calling on the other side signing.  Now is she wants to call a hearing person, she just pushes a button on the remote and it's connected to the relay service.  This service appears up in the corner of the screen signing to my daughter, my daughter gives the number that she wants, the hearing person answers "Hello", and the person signs "Hello", then my daughter starts signing and the interpreter voices it to the hearing person, and everyone can see everyone else.

And what's really cool, that my daughter went bananas over, was with the remote she could make the camera go up or down, right or left, zoom in or out.  It also has an instant connection to 911, which is important.

Also today, that Chinese woman that I told you I met before that knows Chinese sign, came for a visit today bringing her two roommates.  They are all teaching Chinese to students here for one year.  While two of my daughters chatted in Chinese with two of them, I sat down at the table with my deaf daughter and the teacher who knew Chinese sign.  Now I could ask all those questions I have been wanting to ask.  We spent two hours  talking and signing.  I found out SO much about her that would have taken me at least another year to know.  There were times while I watched them signing I felt teary because for the first time I felt I was really getting to know my daughter.  I encouraged her to ask me anything, but she couldn't think of anything.  So I prompted some questions.  "What is making you cry, when nothing really is happening at that time?"  She signed that she didn't feel like she was good enough, that I was disappointed in her and she didn't feel she could be like her sisters...  And through this tears started welling up in her eyes.  Oh, as a Mother can you imagine what I felt?  I wanted to say so much so fast, but I needed to find a reply that could translate and be understood.  The teacher explained to me, that deaf Chinese children in 3rd grade do not understand abstract concepts nor how to express their emotions.  (That explained a lot).  So I explained that she didn't have try to be very good, or very smart, or do extra work just for me to approve.  We picked her to be in the family just the way she is. We love her as her.  And if one of her sister breaks a rule, or disobeys, our love does not go away.  That is how we are with you, our love will never go away.  Each sister is different, older sister is good in art, twins are not, you are good in making crafts, your sister is not.  Each sister is different and special, and that is good.  She seemed to understand.

I also found out about several abusive situations that she received from a couple of her teachers, and from a couple of older girls in her orphanage.  THAT made me very very angry.  I made sure that she knew that no one will be allowed to EVER touch her again.  Because if anyone hurts my daughters with their hands or words, I will personally deal with it (and I punched my right fist into my left hand for her to get the idea that I meant it). She did understand and was impressed.

I know that she understood me when I explained about 'our love never goes away' because tonight I was firm with her when she wasn't in bed by 8:00. At 7:24 I told her to remember that in 30 minutes you are in bed, lights out.  She signed she understood.  Well she came downstairs at 8:20. "Why aren't you in bed?" "I don't know."  "It is 8:20, you are 20 minutes late to bed.  It is your responsibility to watch the time to get to bed at 8:00."  "I was talking with a friend." (on QQ)  "Talking with a friend is not O.K. to be late for bed time."  I realized at this point it was too complicated to explain with limited American sign.  I went to Bable Fish, wrote a paragraph explaining the whole thing again, and why she needs to follow instructions.  Once she read the translation, she looked at me sheepishly, and I knew she knew, but she thought that she could get away with it.  Don't think that this hasn't happened before.  So I firmly said that she was not to miss 8:00 again, and talking with a friend is not a good reason to miss bedtime.

Now usually at this point she would be in tears as she had in the past, but she wasn't.  She signed, "Should I shut down the computer?"  I signed, "Yes, go to bed now."  I waited about 15 minutes and went upstairs, and, as in the past, she would be crying.  Her light was off, I went into her room, she was facing the wall, and I peeked over at her and she was talking to herself.  (Don't ask...)  I leaned my head on hers, she smiled and moved close, I kissed her, and she said and signed "Good night," with a big smile.  That's how I know she understood that she was unconditionally loved and accepted because she didn't get upset.  WOW  a huge leap for our relationship.