It is difficult to start because I don't know where to begin.  I have found out a few things since Monday.  I found out that one of my twins has great empathy.  As I was sitting on my bed reeling from the news and crying, there came a knock at my door, and one of my twins came in slowly.  She climbed up on the bed and sat next me and said, "I wanted to comfort you."  Oh my heart could not have hurt much more.  She stayed by me, saying nothing just being there.  I found out that my dry eye condition gets a lot worse with a lot of crying. I found out that people I didn't know really cared about supporting me (all of you). I found out that acquaintances and friends I hadn't been in touch with for quite some time made the effort to let me know they were thinking about me.  I found out I am getting to know myself better.  And I found out that the family I had always yearned for, that I didn't have growing up and kept trying to 'make it happen,' was really all around me in plain sight.

I have felt sluggish for the past several days, but I couldn't give into it because the girls started back to school.  Two on Wed., two today and I stared Homeschooling again.  Regarding that, the complaint that I flied  is still progressing forward.  Within a few weeks the Lawyer and Advocate from the Government will come here from out of state to meet with the school system.  I do hope it is resolved soon.

After another confrontation of attitude, issues, etc., I sat my eldest down and made a game plan and agreement with her.  One of the things I suggested was to allow me to stop her as she is starting to rev up her emotions and anger.   She did just that last night, I stopped her, showed her another way of looking at what was bothering her and she calmed down and let it go.  Wow, that was a first.  I hope to continue helping her gain skills to use to re-direct her anger, disgust and lack of respect for adults.

One last thing as I am pretty tired. My deaf daughter starting getting all moody tonight when I asked her to pick out what she wanted for lunch tomorrow to bring to school.  She got all sulky and into, I don't want any lunch, I won't be hungry, or there's nothing to eat or a sister is in her way, and so on.  I asked one of the twins to help her pick something out as I was giving holding time to one of the bunnies.  She said she didn't want anything she was shown.  I asked her to come to me and I said, you have to bring lunch to school, you don't have to eat it but you do have to bring it.  Well, the tears started coming. I questioned her, "Why are you sad? Is it because I asked you to make your lunch? Is it because you don't want to do it , etc."  To all my questions the answer was "No."

"Then why are you sad?" "I don't know."  "Tell me why you are sad."  "You asked me to make lunch for school and I got sad, I don't know why."  "Let's talk about it and find out."  This went on for a while, then all of a sudden she started recalling being told what to do in China, being slapped all the time, being told she was wrong, and one particular man always had a cigarette in his mouth and smoke always got in her face when he was yelling at her.  OK ,I said to myself, we have some things to work on here.  So I talked about how that will never happen again, they were wrong to treat her like that. If it ever did occur at school she was to tell me and I would drive the school, and yell at that teacher and report them to the Director of the school.  Her reaction was, "You would drive all the way there???"  I said, Oh yes, no one hurts one of my children.  Your Mama and Papa are here to love and protect you always.  That is never going to happen again, we will protect you, we are your forever family and no matter what you do or don't do, we are never going away.  A whole new concept for her, I think she understood.