wow.....

Well, I am at a bit of a loss tonight. An unexpected tidal wave of information has washed over me that was completely unexpected.   I went in to ask my deaf daughter why she hadn't said good night which she does every night.  The light was off, she was in bed.  I came over to her she was crying.  I asked why?  She did not answer.  I asked again, no answer.  I turned on the light and asked again, she said no reason she just wanted to cry.  I explained if you are crying you have a sadness or hurt somewhere.  You need to try and find that sadness and tell me about it.  She could not.  I asked and explained in different ways to try and help her.  Sill nothing.

So I suggested that I would try to help her by asking a few questions.  "Do you miss your friends in China.?", "Do you miss China?"  "Are you feeling lonely?"   "No". "No" and "Yes".   So we started to talk, and as she went on my jaw dropped further and further to the floor.  I called my dh into the room and told him what I had heard, and he too was surprised.  And she continued with more and more information, it just poured out of her.

The documents I received from the orphanage said she was abandoned at the orphanage and was about 2 years old.  They described the clothes that she had on and that she had a little bag in her hand with a coat...  And this is what my daughter told me.  She was adopted by a Chinese man and woman, and they told her that she had been abandoned as a baby and they adopted her.   She had an older sister and brother.  She lived in the mountains.  Her house was very small, and they had to go outside to use the toilet at an outhouse that smelled bad.  Her Mom was a good cook.  Her Father worked in the fields and she tried to help sometimes, something about corn. They had a dog she played with.  There was a picture she kept describing that she wants.  It's her as  a little girl, not a baby she said, but a little girl and she was so cute.  She wants to have that picture....  She was five or six when she was taken to the orphanage.  She said it was a very long journey that took all day. She saw her parents sign papers and she thinks they cried. When asked why she was brought to the orphanage, she said her parents were very old, and signed crooked hands for her Mother which led me to think of rheumatism.  Also they didn't have any money to take her to the doctor for her deafness.  She talked about her fist fighting her roommate at the orphanage and stealing toys.  And there was an older deaf boy that would tell her not to do those things and explained why.  She said she eventually understood.   And there was more.

I asked her to draw pictures of everything that she remembers and to write all the details down and any names that she might remember.  This is huge.  It helps me understand her more.  I realize now that there is much I do not know of her that shapes the person who she is.  I am excited to find out more.  I did tell her that with whatever information that she gives me,  I would try and find out where her adopted family was and try and get the picture.

All I can say is "wow".  It is an amazing experience to learn about her life.  Before so much was unknown.  So the adventure unfolds...

I would like to thank those that left comments on my last two posts.  Your advise was gratefully received.