Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Well, I did hear back from my connection to the village and the person is not comfortable pursuing this with their neighbors.  Its a tiny village and there could be huge repercussions if this was their child.  So, the best I can do, is locate the village and have someone not from the village ask questions. 

When I have the funds I want to bring all five over and I'll do a media blitz and see if I can locate my daughter's birth parents.  If you remember reading back in Jan 2010, that happened with one daughter, so I think we might have some success.

Now more update on my daughter who is deaf.  Sigh, its a continual frustration. Its like walking into a wall on a daily basis. She ha constantly made decisions for herself that she had no business doing because of lack of life experience.  No matter how many times I explained to her to ASK before doing something, she always thinks she is so independent that SHE can make the decision.  Because of this she is not allowed to turn on the stove, use the washing machine and dryer, walk outside without permission (she's 17). She barely has an understanding of respect, empathy, emotional control. She has had outbursts that are on a three year old level, has become very physical when she can't have her own way, manipulates everyone (except me), lies when it suits her, she's just 'getting' the concept of time and preparation. An example: Every time she breaks a rule or does something she has been told specifically NOT to do, she will do it.  When asked, "Do you remember I told you that you can't do that?", She'll reply, "Yes."  And I ask her, "Then why did you do that when I specifically told you no?"  And her reply never changes , "I decided myself that I wanted to do it."  She lives in the now, the immediate, she doesn't see the future.  I have had many talks with her explaining why we have rules, and why we tell her to do and not to do things, that is a way for her to learn skills for the future and to keep her safe.  Structure is a foreign concept to her.

After fighting with her school for 4 years and 4 summer schools I moved her to another deaf school about 300 miles away.  Why, because this school 'gets' it.  The previous school didn't get her past reading on a 2nd grade level after all that time.  She is going on her 2nd year now there, and is finally seeing by osmosis appropriate behaviors and how to make good decisions. She is also finally understanding and accepting deaf culture, where at her other school they had her in with special needs kids because she didn't know English or American Sign. The results from being in that class were disastrous.

Now if I could only make her really understand that just going to class and doing some homework does NOT mean she automatically goes to college.  Really!  She believed that. I had to give her a huge dose of reality.  I also have been strongly emphasizing she has to work twice as hard to catch up to grade level English.  Which means working on her own, every day.  I have sent several sites where she can work and improve her sentence structure and grammar. She still isn't wiling to do the work.  ALthough her roommate, also adopted Chinese, works all the time to improve her English.  Perhaps she might 
follow her example…..

She's 17 in 10th grade.  The high school is for 5 years if needed.  She needs it.

Final wrap up, I got her in job training this summer, and an actual job with pay, for 30 hours.  She surprised everyone by doing so well they want her back on school vacations!  But, and this says it all, as a deaf person, with limited education, jobs are hard to come by especially where we live.  Do you know what she said, when I excitedly told her about working on vacation, and earning money?  "Oh, the job is boring, I don't want to do it."  She just SO doesn't get it….

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