Sunday, September 20, 2015

I've been busy the past few days as Friday was my twins (identical girls - adopted at one years old) birthday.  They are, gulp, 15.  I cannot get to grips or even acknowledge that its possible that they have become that number.  I want my little girls back, their chipmunk like voices, their cuddles, and their cuteness.  But alas, it can never be.

So traditionally I take out each daughter on their birthday to a restaurant of their choice.  We did that Friday.  Then Saturday they went to a program where college students are assigned to students as mentors through their high school years.  Then Sunday they chose to go to an amusement park.  They could bring one friend each.  The weather was perfect, cool, not too hot.  We spent about four and half hours there!  They did the roller coaster 7 times, the swinging galley ship 4 times, the swings 3 rimes, the parachute ride 6 times, and so on.  e came home, I gave them home made pizza and an ice cram cake, and by 7:00, friends were picked up, and I sent them to finish their homework.

I asked then on a scale of 1 - 10, how was your birthday weekend?  They said a 9!  I asked "Really?"  They said, "Yes".  Not often a Mom can score that high with teenage daughters.  Its nice to know that I do something right every now and then…

So their update. The last two and a half years they've become more serious/solemn. Every picture I have of them before then they are always smiling, in every single one.  Now they have glum faces.  Its a concern.  They've also become less social, basically staying to themselves, as they have each other.  They are a complicated pair.  They are gifted, hyper-active, sensory issues and abandonment issues manifesting in low self esteem.  It's always a balancing act in trying to support them.  In school they get 'A's and 'B's, but they over achieve.  If the assignment says write one page, they do 
3 - 4 pages.  I have had to write an email to their teachers each year explaining this, and asking them to monitor the girls .  One teacher last year even gave them an assignment that if they did too much, they LOST points. They just don't accept when good, is good enough.

I am an old fashioned Mom and pull the plug on homework by 10:00. I told the teachers that they come home, work almost 7 hours on homework, and if it isn't finished by 10:00, I will still send them to bed.  Homework should not be filled with angst or loss of an appropriate amount of sleep.

I encourage them to contact and make friends as often as possible as they need to expand their social skills and quite frankly, they need to be out of each others spaces.  They seem to be improving in this area, a bit.

Last fall I realized that I needed to build a bridge to them as they had drifted away.  They had asked not to do any more acting, but I asked if they wanted to audition for a Christmas musical.  To my surprise they agreed.  So off we went.  They auditioned, but what they didn't know was..I was planning to audition as well.  Well, all three of us got parts!  Ha!  I was so pleased.  I even had two scenes singing with each one of them.  It was a very good experience.
Smiles were also a bonus doing the play.

Right now, it is the first time in almost 10 years that I will be alone at home with the twins.  Their oldest sister is doing a Gap Year in China, the next sister down is a freshman in college, and their sister who is deaf lives in a dorm at a deaf school.  So I will concentrate on building new pathways to them.  The past two years have been devastating and I have had very little emotional energy to give all of my children.  I will now try to make up for lost time.

That's all for now.

No comments:

Post a Comment