As I sit here, feeling totally beaten up, I will once agin try to write.  Starting from today and going backwards....it started out fine, then the vacuum cleaner totally ceased to work.  It was no more.  Taking on the task to research vacuum cleaners and their ratings was daunting as I was burnt, but it had to be done.   Then I chose to clean the garage, which proved to be a failure.  I was so annoyed that my dh had left it such a mess, empty water bottles, empty plastic bags, wire ties, everything you can imagine, I just started in with a vengeance.  For a while I was getting things done.  As I came to a quarter empty bird seed bag right next to the bin we use for seed, I decided to fill it up.  AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH...can you hear my scream of anger???????  There wasn't bird seed in there after all, it was dry cement, and when I poured it in, a huge cloud blew up into my face, my hair and my clothes!  Man, I was REALLY not happy.  (I know the imagery is pretty funny, and some day I will laugh at this-but not today).  Needless to say, all the bird seed now has to be thrown out.  I had just washed my hair, which is a big deal since I usually only have to wash it every four days.  It is yet, one more thing I have to do.

Who in their right mind would put something different in a bag already marked as something else??!
Fine.  I tried to dig some of it out with a dust pan but just managed to make more of a mess all over the floor and more cement dust all over me...  I took the aluminum garbage can and moved it outside so the garbage man would dump the whole thing.  What a waste of money!  So that's a new vacuum cleaner and a 40 pound bag of seed we have to buy that was not planned for.

So I continued cleaning..bumped into a metal shelf where my dh had put beer bottles on a shelf, and one fell.  Good news it didn't break, bad news it exploded.  So there is beer all over the floor under the metal shelving unit and across the garage floor.  I took a sheet, put it over it and walked out and sat down here.  I GIVE UP.

Yesterday, we went to our local parade, then a BBQ at the firehouse.  My second oldest has seemed quite down the last few days and yesterday's festivities did not change that. I've been worrying about that.  Even when I ask her in a variety of ways, I do not get an answer.   Energy was low for everyone that day.

Friday was my deaf daughter's b-day and I think she had a good first ever party.  Of course I had to sub that day, and all the children, from K-3rd took huge amounts of energy to engage and control.  Then I rushed home.  I had my dh and 2nd oldest go out and pick up the birthday cake and balloons.  I wanted my deaf daughter to come home from school to lots of balloons and ribbons hanging.  And all the presents laid out.   I had a friend of hers come over, and we had pizza and her birthday cake.
Remember how I told you she was always signing a cake and blowing out the candles?  She had never done this before, but she was always so excited when it happened for her sister and now it was to happen for her.  When the time came, she couldn't do it, she was too scared.  We kept encouraging her, but she would not do it.  Finally I told her I would do it with her, she said O.K.  1-2-3 blow....I didn't, but she did.  What a smile of success she had on her face.

After the cake was finished they all went outside and rode bikes, walked etc., came back in and opened presents.  Her smile could not have been bigger, and her eyes could not have been more filled with astonishment as she opened each gift.  They then watched the movie "Mr. Bean".  Which is the perfect movie for someone that doesn't hear.  That took it to 10:00.  My daughter's head hit the pillow and she went to sleep with a smile on her face.  It was her very first birthday party.

Thursday was zoo day.  Me, the twins, my deaf daughter arrived at the zoo at 10:00 and met up with her friend from deaf school and his Mom.  For six hours we roamed around the zoo, and still didn't see everything.  Halfway through the day, she stopped me and signed, "I love the zoo."  Wow, I thought, this is so perfect.  She was very joyful throughout the day.  The day even amazed me.  The animals actually put on shows for us.  Instead of standing still, like giraffes always do, they ran, kicked their legs up and played.  It was so wonderful to watch.  Then those huge Bison that stand ever so still, weren't so still that day.  The largest male was actually dancing around.  I couldn't figure out how this creature weighing as much as a VW bus, could dance so lightly on its feet!  Then he would run around and around in large circles, and throw himself down in the dirt pile, wallow around, snort a few times, then jump up, he did this for at least 20 minutes.  And there were displays from other animals as well.  We saw a lot of babies too.  We saw a really lovely interaction between a mother and her lion cub.  As we parted in the parking lot and said good-bye to her friend, he gave her a birthday gift.  She just stood there and didn't reach out.  A minute went by, I told her to take it, she just looked and stood there.  I told her again to take it, I then realized she probably had never been given a gift before and didn't understand what to do.  So I took it and put it into her hands.  She just stared at it.  I explained it was a birthday gift.  She had a blank face and then her face broke into this smile of joy and understanding as if to say, "It's for me, it's really something for me."   All in all it was a perfect day.

We hit a lot of traffic going home, but we finally got there.  I ran in, changed into my EMT gear, and drove quickly to where we were staging the mass disaster drill.  I barely got there in time.  They had real moulage (blood, bones etc) and smoke machine filling the area.  After 2 hours we finished.  Our firehouse went and had dinner and I finally came home and collapsed, to wake up the next morning at 5:50 am.

I think that I have mostly caught you up.  I have one picture now to share, more will follow later.

I have a nagging feeling that I'm not doing enough. I should be planning more family type things, and creating more stimulating activities to do for everyone. But I often have so much to do at the computer, homeschooling research and lesson plans, USCIS issue, letters to the Superintendent of School, planning play dates for everyone, and so much else, I feel I am dropping the ball in oh so many ways.  It is frustrating and has kept me up at night thinking about all that I haven't accomplished.  I hope to do better this week.  I do have a pile of papers that need immediate attention, and just thinking about approaching them shuts me down and makes me immobile.  I would like to complete that pile by the end of Tuesday.

I know I said that I would return today but yet again I have been swept away with commitments.  As an example,  I got four children off to school by 8:00am, I drove to the next town, (about 20 min) to substitute teach.  I finished work, came home picked up my twins and 2nd daughter recently adopted and drove two towns over (20 min) to search for a birthday present for my deaf daughter.  No luck.  Drove to another town, again 2 towns in the other direction (20 min), and went to two stores with only a modicum of luck.  Drove home, (15 min), dropped everyone off and picked up my deaf daughter and drove back to the first town I went to search for b-day presents.  I needed her to pick out design and flavors for her birthday ice cream cake.  That took about a half hour.  Then all the way home again.  A very quick dinner and I sent my oldest, 2nd adopted child and dh off to a concert my oldest was in.  I immediately sat down and did grueling math homework with one twin, then gave different spelling tests to each, had them pack snacks for tomorrow, take a shower and wash their hair.  I then went over my deaf daughter's homework which is never easy.  That took about 45 minutes.  Then I had her pack her snacks.  By them everyone was home from the concert, and I check the homework that I had assigned to my home schooled daughter.   I then sat through while one twin practiced on her flute for her concert.  Sent everyone to bed.  Did a quick research on driving directions to the zoo (about an hour 15 min), and got about 3 different maps and directions, printed it all out, emailed the Mom who is bring her son, who is deaf and from China to tell her where to meet.  Now I am taking a shower and getting up early tomorrow to get my troops on the road to a hopefully wonderful day.

I won't be back tomorrow as directly after I return, I need to get into my EMT gear and go to a mass casualty drill complete with blood, bones, smoke machine going etc.  I have no idea when I will be back.  But, since I need to substitute on Friday, I will be up at 5:50 on Friday morning...

I would like to think that sometime Friday evening I can catch you up on all the goings on...

I am still here.  I'm sorry if you have been checking in and there haven't been any new posts.  It has been a bit daunting these past few days.  I have also been subbing this week Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday.  On Thursday I'll be spending the day at the zoo with my deaf daughter and her friend.  SO time is of the premium and I got a call regarding their Certificate of Citizenship, and that is still a mess.  A lot ot deal with and balance.  And my deaf daughter has presented all sorts of challenges.

I should be back tomorrow .

Yup, it's Friday and I haven't posted in a few days.  Right now I'm off to substitute teach, so this is just the prelude to a longer post upon my return.

My husband summed my deaf daughter's behavior up last night, he said, "She's just sees living with us as living in another orphanage with other kids."  Well, yes, I guess that says it all.

More, later today.

I'm noticing a different 'air' about my deaf daughter lately.  A little more centered, less silly, a slight bit of focus.  I do hope this lasts and it's not just a passing fancy.  Her American Sign is improving so communication is getting better.

Cara shared with me some thoughts on setting her in the right direction.  It took a while before I could think of something, but I finally got it.  She lost the privilege of the computer for three days.  I explained it, I had her explain it back, and she understood that she didn't follow rules and therefore lost the computer privilege.  Yeah, that lasted one day.  My dh came and said, she was on the computer, he told her to get off, and few minutes later she was back on again!  I was ready to explode, I had it up to the hilt at this point!  I brought her into the room and let her have it in Sign.  My fingers really fly when I'm mad!  I said, "You don't break rules, why did you go on the computer when you were not allowed to for 3 days?"  No answer. I said, "Tell me!"  Again only a slight hand movement. I said, "Did you go on the computer, yes or no?"  A small "Yes".  "Why?" I asked.  She said she wanted to watch a TV program on it. "Why," I asked yet again, "you know you don't use the computer for three day because you broke the rules, right?"   "Right", she signed slowly.   "You don't break rules, it's not OK to do that.  If you do not break any rules for 5 days,  then you will earn one hour of computer time.  That is 5 days of not breaking one rule, only then you will receive an hour of computer time."  And I went over exactly what days those were, Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon, Tues., and have 1 hour of computer time on Wed if she obeyed all the rules.  (Thank goodness I had taught her the days of the week before.)  I saw something 'click' when the conversation finished.  Today she was more somber, none of the 'cutesy' stuff she usually displays.   She did try to go on the computer - again - today, and her sister said "NO!"  She came to me complaining that her sister told her no when she went on the computer.  I looked in total shock at her and signed, "That is because you broke the rules and you have no computer for 5 days."  She had this look on her face that sort of said, 'this isn't going away'.  She turned around and walked out of the room.

My daughter that I'm homeschooling just loves it more each day.  Today we did composition writing, the map of the USA, geology, the Incas and Mayas, the CA gold Rush, and a few other things.  Ya know, I'm making this up as I go along because I haven't a clue how to do this homeschool thing.

My eldest daughter walked past me an hour past her bedtime.  I looked at her and said, "Why are you not in bed?"  She replied, "I needed to finish downloading some albums."  "And you think THAT is a good reason for not going to bed on time?"  No answer.  "Excuse me, I asked, you think that is a valid reason for not going to bed on time?"  She said "Yes".  And I said, "Oh well then, that good reason of yours makes you lose your iPOD to me".  She hands me her iPOD and goes upstairs.

Can't wait for tomorrow....

Hi... the struggle continues with my daughter.  She totally dodges doing homework, or any type of school work.  At bed time, which she also avoids, once the lights are off, she continues to play.  I know now that I will need to personally monitor from the time she comes home from school to check all her work from the day, run her through her homework, test her on her signs and spelling and make sure she doesn't do anything, or touch anything without asking.  She has yet to understand that concept.

My other daughter is loving what I am teaching her in Homeschooling.  We work on vocabulary, spelling, sentence structure, grammar, creative writing, interpreting and breaking down a story, conversation, idioms, American culture, and more.  We also do field trips.  Tomorrow she will go on a very long and interesting field trip with her Father.  They're going to shoot a promo for a documentary.  She will learn about video production, dealing with people and their different accents, seeing a different part of America, organizing, and so much more.  It will be an exciting day for her.

My twins are astounding me daily.  On their Spring break, the decided to write a newspaper.  They each did their own, one had 8 pages and the had 10 pages.  They both had articles, breaking news, classifieds, pictures, complete with drop shadows, clip art, page numbers.  And this past weekend they both decided to create power point presentations.  One did it on snakes and the other on Lions.  ANd they're only 9 years old.
Here is one of the slides she created.

I'll try to also get a page of one of their newspapers as well.

I must sign off now, I think I'm developing a bit of a cold and I need to substitute teach tomorrow, as well as other things..

I have needed to use my brain and emotions so much in the past month and a half, that I have found that I am immobilized.  I can't seem to face the littlest of tasks without becoming overwhelmed. I drift without accomplishing anything.  That is one of the reasons I haven't written in a few days.

My deaf daughter is really testing the boundaries.  And keeping up with her toddler behavior before she breaks something or puts herself in danger is very tiring.  Yesterday she got out of the wrong side of the car, after it was parked, directly into the line of traffic.

I had bought another shampoo for her to try, and I showed her what it was and to use it...  Remember before I had to number the shampoo #1, and the creme rinse #2 so she would use them in the correct order?  Tonight I had the whole family go out for a walk after dinner.  When we got back she said she was hot a sweaty and proceeded to smell under arms a few  times and make faces.  I told her she was taking a shower tonight, and she said no.   I said yes, shower now.  She still balked and made faces of being deeply put upon.  I said shower now, go!  Every time I tell her to take a shower we go through this which can be very exasperating.  On Friday morning she was taking a huge amount of time to get downstairs to go to school.  She was running late.  I go upstairs to see what the heck she's doing, and I enter the bathroom and she's washing her arms!  What!?  What are you doing?  She replied they were dirty.  I said that is why I tell you to take showers!! ARRGH!

Back to the story anyway, as she was in the shower tonight I go in and check on her and she signs, #1, #2, #3.  No, that is the new shampoo not #3.  You are supposed to use this as #1 instead of the other #1.  But I found out she has been doing- shampoo-creme rinse-shampooing.  I have also found yet another shirt that she has ruined because she tore out the label which left two large hole in it.

I was helping her with her homework and she was learning about American coins and adding.  There were pictures of the front and back of all the coins. She could label one picture of each coin the correct amount that it represented.  But she could not comprehend that the other pictures were the reverse side of the same coins.  She does not have any deductive reasoning skills.   We have such a long way to go with her.

On a brighter note, she will be having her very first birthday celebration soon.  I will be taking her to a wonderful zoo with her friend who is Chinese and also deaf.  It will be a great day. She also keeps signing a cake and blowing out candles, she is besides herself with excitement to have her first birthday cake.  On the actual day, I'm a little hard put who to have at a party for her, but I will have balloons and the cake and presents.  She is still a little girl and this will be a dream come true for her.

Tonight, just before bed, she signed something to me, and she needed to do it several times, because I couldn't quite get the concept.  Finally I understood, I think.  It went something like...when I'm 14 will I fly to China, and who will sleep in my bed, her older sister?  It took a long time to explain that she can live here for as long as she chooses, and this will always be her bed.  You and your two older sisters are different people and each of you will make different choices.  When you are all grown up if you want to move to a different place you can, but you can also choose to stay.  You can even be living here when you are 30.  (She looked SO surprised at that!)  When she finally understood, she got a look on her face that said.."Hmmm, imagine that."

Then after I remade her bed, she had the sheet upside, and no pillow case, she lay down and grabbed two teddy bears, one in each arm.  She signed this one is the Papa, and this one is the Mama, and she squeezed them tight with a huge smile on her face and let out a squeal of delight.  

I survived substituting all day for 3rd graders. My deaf daughter enjoyed her first field trip with the school.  She also received a cute note from a deaf classmate and attached with stickers and other cute things.  I translated the note for her. I offered to write a note back for her explaining that she didn't know English yet but she was very happy with the gifts and receiving the gifts.  She was thrilled that I would do that.  She also asked that I get a picture of her to give to her friend.  How cute is that?

My other daughter is loving the homeschooling that I am doing for her.  She let me know that what I am teaching her is exactly what she wanted.  Although it seems to be a huge responsibility and I feel guilty if I can't always do as much as I think that I should be doing.  But my friend Patty told me tonight that there was an easier way of going about dong it without so much guilt.  That was nice to hear.  So now I will try rearrange my mind and plans to be more efficient.

Now if I could just find a spare moment to gather my wits to write a letter (a scathing letter) in reply to the Assistant Superintendent, and deal with the immigration documents, find a job, sign up for night duty, do more holding time with the rabbits, clean the house before I go crazy, bills, get the car fixed, return way overdue emails and letters, and much more....  Hmmm, I think I've just overwhelmed myself again, so I better go to bed and sleep on it.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

That is just my way of saying sorry that I haven't written for a few days.  I can't tonight either.  I am completely slammed with children issues and school issues that I can't think straight.  My deaf daughter put laundry in the dryer tonight and shrunk two sweaters, and this is after I have held numerous conversions with her saying you are not allowed to touch or do anything in the house without asking.  She's   being disagreeable because she doesn't want to do the work at school, or her homework.  I've spent hours researching for appropriate material to homeschool my daughter, and find time to actually teach her each day.

The deaf school, was not up to speed about Internationally adopted kids, so I had to compose a two page letter to her teachers  about her behavior and lack of living skills.  Which took so long to do I missed my Monday night fire house training, and there's so much more on my plate that I haven't had a chance to get to.  And I have subbed three out of four days this week and I had to go to a funeral, and...

Never mind I'll catch up tomorrow.

No electricity

That is my excuse for not writing last night.  We had high winds and we lost power for 8 hours.  I put everyone to bed early.  I was up most the night because I couldn't sleep, I kept waiting for the electricity to go back on.  So I'm tired.

Tomorrow will be my deaf daughter's first day of school, she is very excited, as am I.  And also tomorrow I will get into the routine for homeschooling my other daughter.  And I will start the 2nd battle with the school system about teaching English to my daughter.  I received a letter from them on Friday, and even with my 3 page letter, and notebook full of published studies of how International adopted children learn differently - they still don't GET it!  The letter, from the Assistant Superintendent basically said that she'll learn English if she was in a social situation at school.  What?   Quote: "I am concerned that this (homeschooling) would prevent her from social and academic settings that would allow opportunities to demonstrate and practice English by being immersed in the school environment."

She must have blown off all the research that I gave them because it specifically says that Internationally adopted children do not learn like immigrant children do, and it gives the reasons.  Did she not read also when I explained my daughter's shyness and feeling inadequate because she doesn't understand the students when they speak to her and she doesn't have the words to speak to them?   And presently she cannot take any other course because she doesn't understand what is being said.  She has gotten more social interaction with us and going to friend's houses and outings than she ever had in school.

I am very angry at the total disregard of my daughter's needs.  They are instead giving the 'party line' and not thinking outside of the box.  Well, look out, I am officially on the war path now, both barrels are loaded. I will respond tomorrow to this letter and attach even more evidence to back my words and I intend to call the Office of English Language Acquisition which is part of the U.S. Department of Education in Washington, D.C. tomorrow and see if they have any advice for me.  That will be among just a few calls that I will be making.

I am on night duty tonight so I am going to sleep early tonight to try and catch up from last night.  Hope all  Mothers out there had a wonderful and special day.

Yabba Dabba Dooo!

If you are not from the 60's era you won't understand the above.  It represents another way of saying Yahoooo!
Today I officially got for my daughter, bussing and tuition to the deaf school until she is 21!!!  AND I explained that I thought summer school was necessary at this point for her to retain what she learns in the next two months!  Well, I got it also.  One down, three to go with the school system.

That was the good news for the day.  As I pull into the driveway after an hour drive home from the school, the first thing I hear is what my deaf daughter has done - AGAIN!    She had taken one of the twin's jump ropes that had a jump counter at the end and cut it off because she thought the rope was too short and tied it to another rope.
She has done this sort of 'damage' to multiple things in the home because that is how she wanted it, or what she wanted to with it.  She has no perception about not touching something that does not belong to her.  Nor does she have the self control to stop and think before she acts.  She obviously did not have any regulation at the orphanage.  She also feels rules are not for her because she is deaf, that is what she told me tonight.  I cleared up that misconception pretty darn quickly.  I explained that ALL the children have to obey the rules and it didn't matter if she was deaf, the rules are the same.  All the children in the family have the same rules. And that, is that.  I also said, we are a family and you are in this family forever.  Even when I am angry with you the love stays and does not go away.

Since it had been such a bad for my deaf daughter with me landing all over her for the jump rope, I decided to allow her to go to bed a half hour later than her bed time. Well 15 minutes past the time she was supposed to be in bed, she came down stairs and said, "Sorry, I forgot,"  Now mind you, it was just 45 minutes ago that I gave her that extra half hour.  I was so NOT happy.  I turned on Bable FIsh  and basically said that I was disappointed that she did not take the responsibility to go to bed on time, I had given her a special privilege etc., and saying that she is sorry and she forget is not acceptable, and a lot more, which I don't want to regurgitate.  I didn't use all those big words with her, I did keep it simple, I just short cut the story by using them.
These 'events'  completely sap my energy, and each time the next one happens, it is that much more draining, because it's that, "Here we go again feeling".  I understand where all this comes from and why.  I just hope for a small break through sooner than later.

On that note, I will get to bed before midnight.

Again, I'm afraid I will not have the time to go into details, if it hadn't happened -again- tonight, I would have had the time to share.  Tomorrow is my PPT to get my daughter into the deaf school, and it's over an hour drive.  It is already late and there is so much to do.  Handling the situation tonight has put my schedule behind by 2 hours.  I have so much paper work to finish preparing for tomorrow morning's meeting.

Suffice it to say the communication gap between my deaf daughter and the world has continually had her breaking rules, gluing things that shouldn't be glued, tearing pages out of books- again, breaking things, wiping glue on her clothes, stepping in and doing things without asking and there by creating a mess or irrevocable damage, the list goes on.  The amount of time it takes to explain that you don't break rules, you ask before doing something, don't just do something because you feel like it, etc, ends up being one and half to two hours each time using Bable Fish or my daughter trying to understand her Chinese writing. It is so exhausting.  In the past three days there have been at least 5 of these scenes.  So forgive me as I bail out and do my paperwork for tomorrow.  I don't feel like re-living my frustration, anger and sheer exhaustion tonight.

A short one tonight, I have to substitute teach tomorrow.  I just found out.

It has been a very tiring day. My deaf daughter is really testing me and the limits. I'll  explain tomorrow.  I am tired...

Since money is tight we tend to wait until there is absolutely nothing left in the house before we go shopping.  Well since there was nothing left, literally, I took the twins shopping to two stores to buy much needed supplies and food. We left at 11:15 and got home at 3:00.  That in it's self should tell you what the day was like bargain hunting.  Now it has become that much more difficult because our whole water system needed to be replaced to the total of $2,450.  I'm not sure where else to cut back, but necessity demands I find a few places to do so.

I'm hoping to apply for a job teaching summer school, but I'm not sure if the application deadline has happened.  I will submit it anyway.

The things we take for granted.  I thought that I would check on my deaf daughter and go over with her how she was washing her hair...good thing I did, she was using conditioner first and shampoo second, AND using a wash cloth to wash her hair with!  Now where in the heck did she get the idea to do that?  I also caught her about to cut her bangs because they annoyed her.  I asked her if she wants to grow them or cut them a bit.  She didn't realize that she had a choice.  She was thrilled when I said she could grow them out.
Can't wait to discover what else she has translated into her way of doing things.

Remember in the last post when I said a was a bit tired?  I've not been listening to my body's signals this past week.  I just continued to do what I needed to do and just focused on going forward.  I should have realized that I was becoming fatigued when I would forget what I was saying or couldn't quite find the word I wanted to use.

On Thursday I was going 'strong'. I went out on three calls.  The first one was that a tree had fallen down and pulled wires down with it which then started a fire. I am certified Fire Police so I had to re-direct traffic explain why they couldn't go down the street they wanted to, and give alternative directions. I did that for about an hour or so.  I then went home to have some lunch, about 3:00.  Just as I was finishing homework with the girls, and doing paperwork...a call went out for exactly the same situation as before, but this time, on a different road, and rush hour had just started.  So here I am again as Fire Police.  This time I had many more cars, coming form two directions at once, and making sure the emergency vehicles were getting through as well.  That was for over two hours into dusk.

Here I am just returning from my first Fire Police call.

And as the sun starts setting as I direct traffic, I hear a call for EMS personnel.  They knew at the command center that I needed to go, so someone came to release me.  I go flying down to the firehouse, heavy fire boots and pants and all.  By then I was quite hot in them.  Open the garage door to the ambulance, try quickly-there really is no such thing-to pull down the fire pants onto the boots to leave them in a 'go' position.  Throw my shoes on and climb into the cab and off we go.  I didn't get home until about 8:00 that night....

Friday I had to substitute teach all day. I got home at 4:00, returned phone calls, checked emails, and about 5:00 I decided to go upstairs for a half hour nap before dinner.

Well, I guess my body decided to take over because I wasn't doing such a good job listening to the hints for slowing down.  I lay down at 5:00 pm and woke up 16 hours later at 9:00 am. the next day.
Guess I should be a better listener next time.

I have been a little too tired to post recently. The past couple of days I needed to have coffee around
5:00 p.m. just to stay awake.  But I have accomplished withdrawing my daughter from school.  Researching to all hours of the night for lesson plans and information for teaching ESL (English). This is my 3rd day homeschooling.  I cover vocabulary, grammar, spelling and sentence structure.  Today I asked her if this is what she wanted to learn that she wasn't getting in Middle School.  She replied "Yes."  And so far she has really enjoyed all the lesson plans I have thrown together.  I even make her laugh a lot.  I believe that someone can learn a lot faster and better with humor.

I have also started teaching my deaf daughter.  We cover new signs every day, and now I test her on spelling, which in turn will help her to learn English and read.  I sign a sign, and she has to spell it.  She has balked at studying longer than 10 minutes at a time.  I think this tells me that no one ever forced her to work, or take responsibility for anything because she has shown this pattern in other instances.  She now knows I am s-e-r-i-o-u-s, and when I give her an assignment, she knows doing her cutesy stuff will not get her out of it.  Sigh, such a long way to go...

I made several strong phone calls yesterday demanding a PPT for my deaf daughter, and I got one for next Friday. Yeah! This is THE meeting that will let me know if they are going to fight me about busing her and paying tuition to the school, or they might insist that they can provide all the services for her. If they go that way, it will end up being a huge battle with possible litigation.  I do not want that, it would be so draining.

In the midst of this and the 16th b-day party, my twins had also gone to a sleep over b-day party. Well, one of the twins lost a tooth at that party. That was on Sunday, I forgot about it, I'm a bad Mommy.  And I forgot about it Monday night as well, bad Mommy - again.  Tuesday morning as I woke her for school, she reached under pillow and opened a box, and said, "Oh, she didn't come again."  Gulp, darn!  I said quietly, "I heard a crash last night."  But that was all I said.  The back story to this is, for all their losing teeth life, I have had the Tooth Fairy write notes in green calligraphy on special paper that has leaves, flowers and grasses pressed into it.  So as I was running around preparing breakfasts, lunches, and feeding rabbits, I tried to sneak into my room, dig out the paper, run downstairs, and quickly type up a note, print in before the girls come down, and of course the printer took forever.  I grabbed it and ran into the mud room and put it in her back pack.  Then, "Oh no", I thought,  I need a quarter.  I looked in my purse, no quarters.  I looked upstairs on dh's desk, nothing.  He always has has tons of change lying around.  I run down the hall, meanwhile the girls are heading downstairs.  I run down the hall, wake up dh and ask frantically, "Where are your quarters?"  He mumbled, I ran back down the hall through my deaf daughter's room, who was asleep.  I grabbed a quarter and ran down into the kitchen, the girls are there. "OK now what?" I thought.  As they were busy with morning things, I nonchalantly dropped the quarter on the couch, in between the the arm and cushion.

As she walked into the room I started adjusting the lamp shade on the lamp next to the couch, and asked, "Were you playing with this lamp, the shade is all crocked."  "It wasn't me." she replied.
"O.K., so", I asked, "what backpack are you taking today?" "The big blue one." she replied.  "Well, you better pack it up now before you eat because we're running a bit late."  She goes out, and I hear her yell. "She left me a note, look, she left me a note!"  ("YES!", I thought.)  "What?  Who left what?" I asked.  She goes into an explanation about the note, which read:

Ow!  My dear  (her name),

I am sorry to have missed you yesterday.  You see, I had a flying accident last week and my wings still hurt.  I knew you would be disappointed, so I tried to get to you last night.

I hope I did not wake you.  I am still not flying straight and I crashed into a lamp and dropped your quarter.  My fairy friend needed to help me fly home.  If you can’t find the quarter that I dropped, I will have my friend bring it tonight.

Love,

The Tooth Fairy

"That must have been the crash you heard last night!", she said to me.  "Probably, I said, "I just thought it was one of the rabbits."

"Let's look for the quarter!"  She started looking around trying to figure out which direction she was flying in to hit which side of the shade.  I didn't want to say maybe you should look on the couch, luckily the other twin said just that!  And she found the quarter!  

All that before my first cup of coffee, and it happened between 6:00 am and 6:20 am! If I have to keep thinking this fast on my feet until they all grow up, I'll never get dementia.  Talk about having my very own brain gym.

Kelly, I took your advise and sent the letter to the Chair of the Board of Education.  Thank you.
I just overheard my 9 year old twin say,"I want a limousine, and a driver, and a 24 hour chef".  Now where the heck did she get that from?!  There is no way she experienced having that nor saw it on TV because TV is only one day a week, and I monitor what it is.  She's definitely better choose a career that could afford things like that.

I survived the 16th birthday party. The girls arrived and I took them for a manicure and pedicure. I arranged a special price with the owner before hand, and the birthday girl was free. I only paid for 3 girls.
I bought on line 'Margarita' glasses that have two light up functions all the way up the stem. You can choose one color out of 4 or press again and it all changes from color to color. Then I got straws that light up in colors.  And the cool thing was, when you sipped from the straw the color moved up and down.  And of course there were the glowing bracelets that were in unusual colors, and the earrings that lit up in different colors, and the bracelets.  All this in a darkened room with a strobe light going and Japanese rock music blaring (don't ask...).

All the glow and light things that I bought were incredibly inexpensive.  I also borrowed one of those Dance games.  You know the ones that show up on the TV and you have to step in the direction of the arrows?  A good time was had by all, with very little financial out put from us.  Dinner was a BBQ, and snacks after were made by me or bought at Trader Joes.  I also made a huge amount of punch with floating lemons & oranges with sparkling apple juice, frozen lemonade, and bubbly water.  The girls wiped out at least 3-4 gallons of punch.  They watched "Hair Spray" until 1:00 am and then they all went to sleep.  They slept until 9:30.  We gave them home made crepes for b-fast and cut up fresh fruit. They were originally supposed leave about 10:00, but they got up so late I called the parents and said their girls would call them when they were ready to be picked up.  Ahem, they all left around 1:30. in the afternoon.

Today was the first day of home schooling.   In an hour and a half she learned more than the 3 weeks at she had at school .  I also worked with my deaf daughter.  I taught her 119 signs in American Sign Language.  I also had her start to learn to spell the words, and learn English.

 Not the best timing, although it never is, we had to replace our water tank at $675. We have another problem which is either a $1200 bill or a valve which is $50.  We'll find out tomorrow.

It's official.  I delivered the necessary letter to the Superintendent of schools to day to officially withdraw my daughter until they put in place the appropriate program for her.  With "The Letter" I also included a three page letter and a notebook with 9 dividers in it.  Each divider contains information on:
 *    Internationally adopted children are not bilingual
·     Internationally adopted children learn English in a different way
·     Adoption and school issues
·     Modes of learning that are effective for an Internationally adopted child
·     Communicative language and cognitive language
And so much more.  I have asked them to read and learn about Th International adopted child before the attempt to teach my daughter again.  They think they know everything about children, yet this is a whole new area that many educators and medical personnel know nothing about.
I normally wouldn't do this, but I will reprint my letter here in case some adoptive parent is going through the same fight I have been going through. This type of challenge is always emotionally draining and can really flatten you. So perhaps my letter can give another parent some ideas and support on how to fight the school systems.  I will eliminate names.

I have withdrawn my child, her name from Middle School, until such time a satisfactory program can be established to teach her English vocabulary, grammar and sentence structure.  Attached are documents explaining the difference in learning a language for an Immigrant child and an adopted child.  Please read.

The teaching style and material chosen for my daughter is not appropriate for an adopted child.  My daughter is instructed to read a book every day and write down the words she does not know. I have looked at some of the vocabulary words that she has written down: proclamation, Musketeers, construction paper, raccoon, auditorium. These are not words that you start with when you are teaching English.  The course should start with the basics, like in 1^st grade through to 5^th grade.  Would you start a 1^st grader with these words?

Mrs. xxxxxx of the Bureau of Accountability & Improvement and ELL & Bilingual Consultant at the  State Department of Education, spoke with the Director of Special Services. She shared with him her thoughts on what would be appropriate training for a teacher teaching English as a second language, English Language Acquisition, and the materials that should accompany those teachings, again English Language Acquisition materials.  I have also spoken and/or sent emails to The Teacher, Guidance Counselor, the Principal, Director of Special Services, the Assitant Superintendent and the Superintendent of schools regarding this matter.  I am a bit baffled by the lack of response.

At the very least that could be done immediately until something more structured could be set up would be to take the spelling lists from the first grade thru to the fifth grade and start with those.

My decision to withdraw my daughter was a difficult one.  Every day she came home from school feeling confused and sad.  Two of my older daughter's friends asked her what was wrong with her sister.  Wednesday night she burst into tears and we sat down.  She had not shared with me previously because in the Chinese culture you are not to question adults nor complain.  A child’s opinion is not valued.

Her English is minimal so it took over an hour to fully comprehend what she was trying to explain.  She basically said the following; ......

‘I go to TAP and I read a book I don’t understand and write down words I don’t know. It is frustrating looking the words up in the Chinese dictionary.  I don’t know what I am supposed to be learning.  I go to History and wait for the bell to ring because I can’t understand, and in Math I don’t know what is being said.  The math that is being done I learned two years ago’. 

This is a child that had her Mother die, six months later her Father was killed in a coal mining accident.  She lived with her Grandmother for several years until she became too ill to keep her.  When the orphanage people came to take her, she didn’t understand why she was being taken away from her Grandmother.  She has suffered loss three times in her young life, which at those ages is internalized as abandonment.   Coupled with learned orphanage behaviors, this presents a child that the system needs to adapt to, instead of the child adapting to the system.  Please see attached articles.

My daughter is frustrated with not learning English and not being able to participate in her classes.  I’m afraid the ‘immersion’ method of learning English is not how to educate an adopted child.  A side note.  I have heard stated that my older daughter is a success story with the present teaching method.  I would like to finally dispel that myth with the following reasons.

1.  My daughter was tutored for 4 months, 2-3 times a week by a Chinese woman licensed in teaching ESL. That I paid for.

2.  For several months she had a Chinese interpreter in class with her.

3.  She went to Summer School and was tutored in English.

4.  I worked with her at home.

All this happened BEFORE she went to Middle School.  By then she already had been here a year and had a strong foundation in the English Language.

My daughter started school being in the country only a few weeks, so comparing her with her sister is inapplicable.

I would like my daughter to return to public school, and that will happen when a program can be established to meet her needs.  I look forward to working with you towards that end.

Sincerely,

Oh my gosh, I do believe my deaf daughter would be a perfect candidate for the show "What Not To Wear".  It is a new episode every morning when she comes down.  I have learned not to to expect 'normal', whatever that is. This morning she came down in pants 2 inches too long, and a belt scrunching large amounts of material at the waist,  AND a turquoise long sleeve shirt underneath a short sleeve white and yellow t-shirt!  And every day she comes downstairs with her pants  stuffed into her socks so that she looks like she's wearing pantaloons, (did I just date myself?).  It is never ending.
The other day I hit my limit because the coping many times a day with her finally was too much. She didn't like the label in a shirt because it made her itch so she ripped it out leaving two large holes in it, I was not happy.  She had asked for scissors several times before to cut out labels, so she did know better.  The same day I discovered that she had ripped the glued-in inserts out of her new shoes. This is just a small bit of many things that occur every day.  She has also broken several things as well.  It is SO hard not to become frustrated with her!  She has lived isolated all her life with no auditory input to learn what you do and don't do. No one cared enough to correct her or try to communicate with her.  I need to gear myself to think of her as a toddler and watch her at all times, (that will be exhausting), which will be hard to remember because she is almost 12 years old.

A friend informed me how to withdraw my daughter from school legally so they don't come after me.  I have completed the necessary letters, now I just need to include back-up documents of why I think how they are teaching my daughter is inadequate.

Since I must complete everything today, I'll leave off for now, but I will be adding more tid bits as the day wears on.


AND to top off all that, my dh was walking through her room, and I heard him say, "What are you doing?  What were you going to do with that?"  I called, "Do you need me?"  "Yes, you better come."  I walked in and my dh said that she had her shirt raised and a pencil in her hand.  She was about to draw circles on her stomach!!  I asked her, "Where you going to draw on your skin?"  She nodded.  "WHY?" I asked. She shrugged.  "Why were you going to draw on your stomach?"  She replied, "To play."  Oh heaven help me, she IS a toddler in a 12 year old body.

I have worked all day on the paperwork that I am assembling for my other daughter to give to the Superintendent tomorrow.  I think I'm permanently stuck to this chair.  And I got nothing done for the birthday party today. This is so not like me.  Before children (B.C.) I was a type A, now I'm a type Z.

On the lighter side...My daughter who is deaf is eating massive amounts of food.  I am not exaggerating!  The least she eats is 3 helpings at dinner, but her usual amount is 4 helpings, large helpings as well.
Here, she finally grabbed the serving bowl to finish everything off!.  This was her 4th.  And according to her Doctor, in one and a half months, she has gained seven pounds and  almost 2 inches in height!  I have no idea what to expect her final height will be at this point.

Driving today I pointed to a deer crossing the road, she let out such a long loud scream of delight that she scared me! I was not prepared for that kind of reaction. With all the wild life around here and Spring practically here, perhaps I should invest in some ear plugs...
I spent the rest of the day trying to figure out what to do with my daughter's Sweet 16 party.  She's invited 10 girls for the night. When she first arrived three and a half years ago she was so emotionally and socially immature that I put her in 4th grade at 12.5.  It has worked out beautifully because the group of kids in that grade are so nice.  So she will be 16 and her friends are 12/13.  It's kinda hard to plan for that age range and make everyone, and the birthday girl happy.  My daughter is finicky, and doesn't like the usual things.  But I may have found a solution.  I'l  share with you once I solidify the details.

Anna if you would like to contact me further, it would be so interesting for me.  So please email me at:   nicoj5473@yahoo.com.
Now, to catch up quickly. I am dismayed at our school system.  I went through all the proper channels to get the appropriate teaching resources for my daughter to learn English. And as you remember I even had someone from the State call the Director of Special Services with her "thoughts" on what would an appropriate instructors training should be and the that should be used.  I even had a strong conversation with the Superintendent and Assistant Superintendent of Schools.  Nothing has happened.  Thursday my daughter broke down in tears, she was miserable.  Here is a typical day for her, in her words. She goes to the teacher who is supposed to be teaching her English, in fact she is a reading teacher.  The teacher asks her what book she wants to read.  Of course it doesn't cross her mind that she's only been in the country several weeks and hasn't a clue to what book to read.  Next she is given a book and instructed to write down words she doesn't know, like proclamation, cactus, Musketeers, construction paper and  asteroids. These are not the type of words you use to teach English as a second language. She has yet to learn grammar, sentence structure and appropriate vocabulary. 


Thus I have informed the powers that be, that until they provide a n appropriate English program for my daughter, I will be home schooling her.
She also had said that in history she just waited for the bell to ring because she could not understand what was being said, and in math she is at least 3 years above what they are teaching and she was bored. She was so frustrated she said through her tears, she couldn't understand what she was supposed to be learning in English as it was being taught to her.  I have taught her in two days more than she has learned in three weeks.
 And did I mention, we got in today another foster bunny? 

I am so sorry, I never got to write today.  I had major house cleaning today, search out a few recipes, and run to the store with a list and have guests arrive at 3:30 for a BBQ.  They have two children.  SO by the time they left, we had 10 people around the table and tons of food, and we finally cleaned up it was late.  I needed to sort out a few things, put in a laundry, and now look what time it is.  Never mind, tomorrow is another day.

I will update on Saturday early afternoon, instead of midnight as I usually do.  I'll also have a picture or two to share.

A message to one of my visitors who has been a regular for a long time.  They are from ICELAND - Reykjavik, Gullbringusysla.

I would like to know how you are fairing with the eruption of the volcano.  How have you been effected?  Please let me know if you are alright.

Just a note to say I'll fill you all in tomorrow, but bottom line, I'm pulling my adopted daughter out of school until they set up an appropriate English course and schedule for her. She has been suffering for several weeks and it all came out tonight.

Today I subbed for 6th grade (Math!), then drove to the next town to pick up my 90 year old Mom to bring her home to visit with her grandchildren then back to where she is staying (about a 40 minute drive one way).  Then between 6:00 and just getting home now, 12:20 am, I went on a call for a 86 year old male who fell, to a school where the fire alarm kept going off even though it was reset numerous times (had to keep searching the building) and finally to a two car motor vehicle accident.  I'm tired.

A quickie update tonite, it's after 11:00, I just got home from a call to a new born, born at home not breathing.  So I was on scene by the time he was 45 minutes old. Very interesting for me since I have never seen a baby that young before.  Although the infant was breathing a bit by the time we got there, he was blue.  By the time we got to the hospital he had pinked up but still had grunting sounds.  I believe he is going to be fine.

I am going to list a few things that my deaf daughter has done, definitely keeps me on my toes.
Walked by her room and saw her tearing pages out of a book I leant her.
Still trying to wear the same clothes two days in a row.
Walked into the dentist's office and proceeded to walk right past reception into the back rooms.
Purposely was going to 'steal' a magazine when we left the office. I stopped her and signed that's not yours, it belongs to the office. She looked at me with a "So?" look on her face. I again signed you do not take things that are not yours, it belongs here.  She looked at me like I've got to be kidding.  Finally I said, it is stealing and you do not ever do that. You never take things that don't belong to you....  Nothing. ... I signed "Put it back."   She got an attitude look on her face and sauntered back in and put it down.
Then she washed her gardening gloves that should not have been washed.
We all went out for a walk after dinner and I told her to stay on the left side of the road, and explained why.  I also asked her to either walk next to me or behind me, not way out in front of me.  Well she did, and on the right side, and a car came along and she was just about to weave over into it's path.  I ran and reached out and caught her hood and yanked her back just as the car went by.  Was I angry (and a little bit scared) you betcha.  My fingers were flying at her.  It was quite frustrating not being able to say everything I wanted to because her ASL is so limited.  But I got my point across.  And she cried.  When we finally got home, I had a very long talk with her through Bable Fish.  I explained how being scared also looks like anger, was I angry, yes, but not as much scared that she might be hit by a car.  And so on...  It took about 40 minutes.

I have come to realize that she has grown up in a very sequestered environment with very few reality checks, learning what common sense is or how to use it and very little awareness of how the real world works.  Yes, it is going to be a long road.

"My cheeks hurt I smile too much."

Is what she signed to me today.  We had installed a video phone connected to our TV.  So if someone calls her that also has the video phone installed, the screen is spilt, with my daughter on one side signing and the person calling on the other side signing.  Now is she wants to call a hearing person, she just pushes a button on the remote and it's connected to the relay service.  This service appears up in the corner of the screen signing to my daughter, my daughter gives the number that she wants, the hearing person answers "Hello", and the person signs "Hello", then my daughter starts signing and the interpreter voices it to the hearing person, and everyone can see everyone else.

And what's really cool, that my daughter went bananas over, was with the remote she could make the camera go up or down, right or left, zoom in or out.  It also has an instant connection to 911, which is important.

Also today, that Chinese woman that I told you I met before that knows Chinese sign, came for a visit today bringing her two roommates.  They are all teaching Chinese to students here for one year.  While two of my daughters chatted in Chinese with two of them, I sat down at the table with my deaf daughter and the teacher who knew Chinese sign.  Now I could ask all those questions I have been wanting to ask.  We spent two hours  talking and signing.  I found out SO much about her that would have taken me at least another year to know.  There were times while I watched them signing I felt teary because for the first time I felt I was really getting to know my daughter.  I encouraged her to ask me anything, but she couldn't think of anything.  So I prompted some questions.  "What is making you cry, when nothing really is happening at that time?"  She signed that she didn't feel like she was good enough, that I was disappointed in her and she didn't feel she could be like her sisters...  And through this tears started welling up in her eyes.  Oh, as a Mother can you imagine what I felt?  I wanted to say so much so fast, but I needed to find a reply that could translate and be understood.  The teacher explained to me, that deaf Chinese children in 3rd grade do not understand abstract concepts nor how to express their emotions.  (That explained a lot).  So I explained that she didn't have try to be very good, or very smart, or do extra work just for me to approve.  We picked her to be in the family just the way she is. We love her as her.  And if one of her sister breaks a rule, or disobeys, our love does not go away.  That is how we are with you, our love will never go away.  Each sister is different, older sister is good in art, twins are not, you are good in making crafts, your sister is not.  Each sister is different and special, and that is good.  She seemed to understand.

I also found out about several abusive situations that she received from a couple of her teachers, and from a couple of older girls in her orphanage.  THAT made me very very angry.  I made sure that she knew that no one will be allowed to EVER touch her again.  Because if anyone hurts my daughters with their hands or words, I will personally deal with it (and I punched my right fist into my left hand for her to get the idea that I meant it). She did understand and was impressed.

I know that she understood me when I explained about 'our love never goes away' because tonight I was firm with her when she wasn't in bed by 8:00. At 7:24 I told her to remember that in 30 minutes you are in bed, lights out.  She signed she understood.  Well she came downstairs at 8:20. "Why aren't you in bed?" "I don't know."  "It is 8:20, you are 20 minutes late to bed.  It is your responsibility to watch the time to get to bed at 8:00."  "I was talking with a friend." (on QQ)  "Talking with a friend is not O.K. to be late for bed time."  I realized at this point it was too complicated to explain with limited American sign.  I went to Bable Fish, wrote a paragraph explaining the whole thing again, and why she needs to follow instructions.  Once she read the translation, she looked at me sheepishly, and I knew she knew, but she thought that she could get away with it.  Don't think that this hasn't happened before.  So I firmly said that she was not to miss 8:00 again, and talking with a friend is not a good reason to miss bedtime.

Now usually at this point she would be in tears as she had in the past, but she wasn't.  She signed, "Should I shut down the computer?"  I signed, "Yes, go to bed now."  I waited about 15 minutes and went upstairs, and, as in the past, she would be crying.  Her light was off, I went into her room, she was facing the wall, and I peeked over at her and she was talking to herself.  (Don't ask...)  I leaned my head on hers, she smiled and moved close, I kissed her, and she said and signed "Good night," with a big smile.  That's how I know she understood that she was unconditionally loved and accepted because she didn't get upset.  WOW  a huge leap for our relationship.